Want to get yourself motivated, right now, to take massive action towards achieving your goals?
Please enjoy and be motivated by the following article by Stefan Pylarinos.
– Simply sharing and recommending you visit his website at
My Motivation Secret – Find Your WHY To Succeed And Use Pain As Fuel To Motivate You Towards Success
You Need A Strong Enough WHY!
You’ve likely heard this from all of the self-help guru’s out there…
If you’re struggling with motivation, it’s simply because you don’t have a strong enough WHY.
You see, you need a purpose behind everything that you do. Without a purpose or any compelling reason to do something, you simply won’t feel motivated to do it.
Want to make a six figure per year passive income?
Great… but WHY?
When you ask most people this, they likely don’t have any compelling reason to drive them. Or if they do have reasons, it’s simply not a strong enough motivator for them.
One person might say, “Well, I’d like to make more money so that I can travel more and have more fun.”
While that might be a good reason, how strong of a reason is that for you? How badly do you want to travel more and have more fun in your life?
The answer to that depends on how much EMOTION you associate to that reason.
Another person might say, “I must make more money so that I can get out of debt and pay my bills this month.”
With this reason, the person will likely be more motivated because the reason has more EMOTION associated to it. You can tell it’s a MUST for the person, not an “I’d like to…” This is a more powerful WHY and motivator.
The more REASONS you can have to achieve a goal, the better.
But the REAL POWER comes down to how POWERFUL, EMOTIONALLY-DRIVEN your reasons and purpose is.
What Drives Human Beings To Do What They Do…
There’s two twin forces that drive human beings to do what they do: Pain and Pleasure.
Human beings will do almost anything to avoid pain and to gain pleasure. This is directly from Tony Robbins – he calls it the Pain Pleasure Principle (PPP).
Out of the two, which do you think is more of a motivator for people? Pain or Pleasure?
Most people are more driven by the PAIN of potentially losing something, rather than the PLEASURE of potentially gaining something.
When it comes to your WHY and PURPOSE for achieving your goals, the more pain-inducing reasons you can have, the better. You want to use PAIN as fuel motivate you.
For example, here’s some of the pain-inducing reasons that have motivated me throughout my life:
- I got my heart broken by a girl when I was 16 years old. I used the PAIN of that to drive me to change my life, as my reason was I NEVER AGAIN wanted to be in a position where I got my heart broken like that. I wanted to AVOID the pain of never again feeling hopeless and having to suffer like that again. I made the decision and set a goal to change myself socially. It was this compelling reason WHY that drove me to face my fears, push my comfort zone and become a more confident, attractive person.
- In my early twenties, I went through a painful break up with a girl that I was madly in love with. One experience that occurred was feeling physically weak and powerless to stand up to another guy that was hitting on my girlfriend. The pain of that experience gave me a strong enough reason to change myself physically. I never again wanted to experience the pain of feeling powerless and intimidated physically. As a result, I used that motivator to drive me to work out, become stronger, and learn mixed martial arts.
- I was in massive credit card debt in my early twenties and was forced to live in my friends living room, as a way to save money and pay off my debt. The pain and the embarrassment of this drove me to have to find a way to make money online. When I travelled to Southeast Asia for three months, I made it my mission to be earning $300/month passive income from an online business by the time I came back to Canada. The pain of having to go back to Canada and live in a living room was unacceptable for me. There was no way I was going to go back to that standard of living, which is what drove me to wake up early and stay up late finding ways to make money online.
- The pain of not being able to do or experience what I wanted was unacceptable for me. I vividly remember wanting to do certain things in my life, but not having the finances to be able to do it, which made me sad. I hated the feeling of not being able to do or experience what I want. We only get to live this life once… how is that a way to live?
- I used the pain of not being where I wanted to be in life. The pain of comparing myself to others and seeing others living the life that I really wanted and felt I deserved. I used the pain of not being able to help people or serve people at the highest level. Not being able to grow or improve myself. The pain of missing out on opportunities. Not being able to provide for important people in my life. Pain… pain… and more pain!
Every failure, every set-back in my life I used as a new reason to take more action.
I would FIND REASONS and use the PAIN OF THEM to drive me to work my ass off. This is what has kept me continuously motivated throughout my life to make massive changes and achieve success.
Why Most People Never Find A Strong Enough WHY…
The reason why most people never find a strong enough WHY is because they aren’t willing to be honest with themselves.
You see, it isn’t comfortable experiencing pain. Most of us would rather lie to ourselves and tell ourselves, “Everything is okay. My life is fine. It’s not that bad yet.”
When really, it isn’t. This is just an EXCUSE and a way for people to “soften” things, as a way of avoiding to be honest and experience that pain.
If you can get to the TRUTH, you can change anything in your life. The truth will set you free.
But in order for you to be 100% honest at yourself, look yourself in the mirror and admit that something isn’t good enough in your life requires a massive amount of courage. You have to be willing to endure that pain and most people are afraid to.
If you’re overweight and want to get in better shape, it’s not until you finally look yourself in the mirror and admit to yourself that you’re FAT that you will get yourself motivated enough to make that change. You have to look yourself in the mirror and finally be honest with yourself.
You have to stop LYING TO YOURSELF and making it ACCEPTABLE for being overweight. You have to set a new standard and say, “I’m not willing to live this way anymore.”
But do most people that are overweight do that? Of course not. Instead, they say things to AVOID feeling that pain, such as “You know, I’m just big boned. It’s my genetics. It’s not that bad yet…”
These are all reasons of avoiding the feeling of pain.
But guess what? Eventually you get to a point where you can’t avoid it any longer, as it’s just a matter of time before you pay the price of the consequences of being in debt, being overweight, or settling in your life.
There will be a moment in your life when the pain gets so intense that you finally have to confront it. This is when people hit ROCK BOTTOM and experience an EMOTIONAL THRESHOLD. This is what often forces people to change and use the painful reasons to drive them.
What Motivates Me Today…
While I openly admit that pain has driven me for most of my life, I now have a good balance of pain and pleasure that drives me. In the past, I was desperate and had my back against the wall. I had no choice but to find a way to change my life and most of the reasons were more painful than pleasurable. But that’s changed today…
Here’s some of my compelling reasons that drive me to do what I do today:
- The PAIN of having a job, being broke, being in debt, being overweight, getting sick or a life-threatening illness, being in a mediocre relationship, having to get a divorce, not being able to help my family, not being able to fulfill my mission and contribute to others, settling for an “okay” life. The PAIN of these are what drive me today to continually get better and improve myself, make more money, become more successful, and achieve my goals. Since I’ve experienced the PAIN of all of these things already in my life, I remind myself of it constantly and there’s no way that I’m going back.
- The PLEASURE of having freedom to do what I want, travel the world, buy whatever I want, being lean and muscular, being healthy and energetic, having a passionate loving relationship, starting a family, being able to help my family, living my mission each day and fulfilling my destiny of changing the world. In the same way, the PLEASURE of these drive me to continuously get better and improve myself, make more money, become more successful, and achieve my goals.
As you can see, I have clear, compelling reasons WHY that I associate powerful emotion to that drive me each day.
This is my secret to motivation.
I’ve learned to USE the power of pain and pleasure, instead of having it use me.
If I have a bad day or a day when I find myself regressing, I momentarily give myself a burst of pain and then use that to get myself back on track. I remind myself that this isn’t a standard that I’m willing to live by and I use it as motivation to improve.
If I fall off my diet for a day, then I use the pain of that to get back on track the next day and get myself motivated again.
If I experience a failure in my business, then I use the pain of that to push me harder to succeed even more.
If I have a girl that it doesn’t work out with in my favour, then I use the pain of that to become better so that I can attract the right woman in my life.
In the same way, I’m constantly pulled towards the PLEASURE of having what I want.
What Is Your Reason Why?
If you can discover what your compelling reason WHY is at this stage of your life, it will awaken a sleeping giant within you.
It’s time to get honest with yourself and discover what your REASON to achieve your goals is.
One way to do that is to ask yourself these questions:
- What is my goal and more importantly, why do I want it?
- What will be the consequences in my life if I don’t achieve this goal? What will it ultimately cost me? (pain-inducing question)
- What will my life be like in 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years if I don’t achieve this and stay where I’m at right now? Am I willing to continue living this way?
- What are the benefits and rewards in my life that I will experience by achieving this goal? How will my life improve for the better? (pleasure-inducing question)
- What will my life be like in 1 year, 5 years, or 10 years if I achieve this goal? How will this affect all areas of my life for the better?
Be 100% honest with yourself.
I’ve broken down and cried on many occasions by honestly answering these questions – it’s okay.
When I look back throughout my life, the most painful moments have been the best moments of my life. I simply wouldn’t be who I am today if I didn’t endure the pain and challenges that I faced, as I was able to use them all as motivation and drive to become better. I used my circumstances and life conditions as motivation.
If you go through this exercise honestly and have the courage to experience pain, then I promise you, you will unleash a surge of energy within you to take massive action and achieve your goals.
I hope you enjoyed this video blog. Please leave any questions or comments below, I’ll be sure to answer the best I can!
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by Stefan Pylarinos